Chapter 5 – White liquids do not drip off my body!
Translated by Pipipingu
Edited by Lickymee, Anivyl
Special thanks to pipipingu from gravitytales for helping out!
“Enter, stranger, but take heed
Of what awaits the sin of greed,
For those who take, but do not earn,
Must pay most dearly in their turn.
So if you seek beneath our floors
A treasure that was never yours,
Thief, you have been warned, beware
Of finding more than treasure there.”
― J.K. Rowling,
Screw you RLN.
Waking up in the morning, I only saw Kujou-san with her head down, staring at me with a cold expression as if she had just finished watching a very melodramatic television series.
”You are awake?”
“How good would it be if you were to never wake up.”
Every morning, the conversation would be like this. It almost gave me a feeling that these days would be repeating endlessly.
To break this cycle, I decided to say something different for once.
“What is the matter?”
“I have wanted to ask you before…. Why do you always stand there and watch me wake up?”
Since it wasn’t to wake me up, there should not be any reason to stand there.
Miss Kujou did not say a single word.
Not a single word.
Silent, without a single noise.
“That ……. Miss Kuj…——-”
“Is there anything that dictates that I have to answer your questions?”
“Unfortunately, I am your personal maid. Although it is extremely regrettable, waking you up is one of my jobs. To be honest, I really want to laze off, but as I am the head-maid, I cannot do this. This makes me feel very regretful, to the point where I want to stomp my feet”
“You said something of the same meaning four times?”
“The fifth time!”
“As a result, I came to the compromise, which is [I will stare at you till you wake up]”
“You haven’t been working at all”
“Just constantly watching you is my job”
“Even if you say it like the previous advertisement, white liquids do not drip off my body!”
(E/D: Some kind of japanese advertisement that aired at the same time as the last episodes of Madoka Magika. Somehow it became a japanese internet meme.)
“Is this counted as sexual harassment?”
“No! So please put the scissors away!”
“Sigh, as I said… There is no need for that. I don’t need you to help me put on my clothes anymore either, right? Thus, there’s no need for you to wake me up.”
As I spoke, I grasped my phone in my hands..
“I can rely on this to wake me up, so there are no problems”
“Are you saying that you will start utilising the alarm function of the mobile phone to wake up?”
“Yes yes. I only need you to come when it’s time to send me off.”
“Yes, isn’t it easier for you now? If it’s fine, you don’t even need to send me off——”
“Then I will break the mobile phone now”
“Over-machination is the enemy of labourers”
“C’mon, you haven’t worked right from the start!”
Miss Kujou sighed.
“I understand, since you speak like this, I also need to start becoming serious”
“No no, this is why you don’t need to ——–”
“I will wear ice-skating shoes everyday, and earnestly jump and spin three and a half revolutions on your body, relying on all of the force of impact to wake you up”
“Isn’t where you put the word [earnestly] somewhat wrong!? I will die!”
“It seems I must hurry and get Mao-san to give you some advice”
“Who is Mao-san? It can’t be that Mao-san right!?” (FYI: Asada Mao is a famous Japanese ice skater)
“I am serious”
“There is no need to be serious!!”
“Then can I continue to act like before in the future?”
“Is that so. Then I will act as such”
“I will go outside. Please get dressed quickly”
Bang! Kujou-san walked out of the room.
I was still not clear about anything, and the ending result was still the same as before.
It was not a matter that was especially worrying. Also……
When I woke up every morning, I always felt as if I was wrapped up by something warm, and felt very nice.